Cheap and Best

"Ija, the flush is at it again!"
We stared helplessly at the anti-peristaltic movement of the WC. Monsoons in Almora were always marked by our war against the sewage system and the defeat thereafter.
The winner each year,however, was Devi Mistry. This local plumber had learnt the art of twisting p-traps and turning s-traps at eighteen when the British first introduced it. Now, at eighty one, he practised it like wizardry.After each monsoon he married off a daughter or two with enough to last the dry spell.

By next day my patience began to wear and I cribbed about his monopoly and high handedness during crisis period. Ija calmly sipped her Lopchu and recounted the year they almost ended his dominance.

Our newly formed hilly state was just beginning to discover its limbs. Almora's drainage system had always been a sore so the ministers and bureaucrats discussed it at length in the first assembly and decided to solve the problem once and for all. A week long visit to Almora was announced immediately.

The government rest house was dressed up like a doll. Shama uncle still thanks the bright street lights they arranged along Havelock Road during those days.He managed to clear his university exams by its grace while his not so fortunate friends sat brooding in the darker parts of town.

Government cars carrying our agents of change, their family and trail of acquaintances drove into Almora. During the day the ministers were occupied in meetings, flipping through papers held in designed folios (hand painted by some expensive artist in Bombay). Meanwhile their families visited the local places of interest and graciously accepted gifts for blessing the people with their presence.
Meals were always a grand affair. Local cuisine as well as gourmet food was served with the best accompaniments and drinks. Almora knew how to keep its guests happy. Especially ones who were labouring hard to provide them basic sanitation and clean drinking water.

At night entertainment reigned supreme. After all, even hard(ly) working officials needed mental relaxation to prepare them for the next day.
The meeting ended three days later with a "very positive outcome". Devi Mistry was seen secretly flipping through the local employment news. The cars rolled out and six months later when monsoons came, so did hope.

A soul troubled journalist published an account of the expenditure of this fruitless meet in the newspaper the following week. Approximately twenty lakh rupees of the state fund had "gone down the drain" leaving it more clogged than ever. Ija read it out during a ladies' meet. Situ's mother shrugged and said with flooring simplicity," Hmm, ten rupees and a nice cup of tea is all Devi jee needs!"